Warhammer Quest

New Settlement: The Salon

By Dave Joria, the Styrofoam King

The Salon (not hair salon, but an 18th century drawing room where people discussed enlightened issues) strikes me as the intelligent man's Alehouse. For a change, Elves and Wizards are in their element, while thick-skulled Barbarians and ill-tempered dwarfs are the ones who'd be eaten alive.

FINDING THE SALON

While Salons (like Alehouses) break the rules in that you can visit them any number of times in a Settlement Visit, the Salon is not exceptionally easy to find. Rather, the Salon can only be found by Warriors on a dice roll of 7; making it impossible in Villages.

Town   

2D6

City/Seaport   

3D6

SALON RESULTS

As you can guess, most people in the salon are not the types who travel through mud to cobweb-ridden dungeons, emerging later caked in slime and orc blood. As such, your Warriors are not the type normally engaged in Salon conversation. While some type of Warriors or type of warriors are better suited for the parlor life, some are just too brash, barbarous, or just plain stupid to adjust (stupid topic anyway!)

Roll the following, depending on what type of Warrior you control are as follows for most creatures:

Wizard

2D6

Priest

2D6

Elf

2D6

Knight

2D6

Dwarf

2D6-3

Shaman

2D6-3

Slayer

2D6-4

Barbarian

2D6-4

Outlaw/Thief      

2D6-4

Troll (?)

2D6-6

If your Warrior does not fit one of the archetypes above, judge according to Gamesmaster or by popular vote.

-1 OR LESS After a Synapses overload, your warrior is lucky to discern his truncheon from a T-bone steak. From now on, any time your Warrior tries to identify a Magical item, roll a D6. On a 1 or 2, his brain is too overworked to solve the mystery at this time, and you may not use the item this Dungeon. You may give it to another Warrior, but you may not get it back this Adventure. //////Unless a Gamesmaster decides otherwise, reveal the identity of the item at the end of the Dungeon. This condition may be cured at a Healing Shop, Temple (instead of a result of 6 for praying) , or at a Grail Chapel (see Bretonnian Knight.)
0 Your warrior is let into the salon all too easily and only moments later do you understand why. They believe you to be the temporary replacement for their kitchen servant. After a full day of scrubbing hors d'oeuvre trays, you gain 20 gold for your efforts but lose 1 Starting Wound permanently (due to Dish-Pan Hands.) You may pay 50 gold at a Temple to regain your lost wound.
1 Your Warrior’s distinct odor does not go undetected within the small salon. Rather than be disgusted, the entire intellectuals of the room spend the rest of the afternoon playing "Identify the Reek." Your warrior leaves quite red faced after being voted to smell like a wolverine with intestinal problems and immediately purchases 30 gold worth of fruity soaps, paying with a treasure item if you cannot pay in gold.
2 Your Warrior is thought to be an uncouth rogue and your very sight causes the women to scream. The Local Watch assists the doorman on your way out. In the process of being kicked out, they confiscate a random item of yours (not treasure.) Before you leave the Settlement, you may pay the item’s sale price in order to get it back. You may do nothing else today.
3 You enter a large room filled with ill-shaven people and begin a discussion about philosophy. After staring at you with wide eyes for several minutes, several of the characters in the room nod their heads and agree with your view on the shaping of society. Only on your way out (after several friendly hugs and handshakes) do you realize that you had not walked into a salon but instead had spent the day in a den of thieves! You find yourself missing 2D6 gold and your Driver’s License. In addition, when you leave the Settlement, any Mule, Horse, or War-horse you own is stolen on 1 OR 2.
4 You enter just in time to hear a sprightly jig or scherzo by a young piano virtuoso. Humming the tune to yourself as you leave, you fail to notice a fast moving runaway war wagon hurtling down the street. You are immediately dragged to your inn and need all day tomorrow to recuperate. For today and the next day, you may not visit any traders or Locations, and do not roll for Settlement Events. You can only lie in bed and pay Living Expenses.
5 You are allowed into the salon, but find the conversation most boring indeed… something about the place of lichen in society. When you wake up, it is quite late and every other place in town is closed for the night (Even the Alehouse!!) Roll for Settlement Events as normal.
6 You jump into a stirring reevaluation of history, under which you defend the role of the traveler as a boon rather than a parasite. You run rings around them logically and astound the entire gathering. As you get up to leave, you are given a thorough round of golf claps.
7 You become a pivotal player in a discussion about different cultures and their views of the afterlife, only to be interrupted by the stroke of midnight. Unable to carry on tonight, the hostess asks you to come again to continue contributing to the debate. Contrary to normal Settlement rules, you instantly find the Salon one other time this week.
8 Your mind wandering, you begin to fiddle with a flute or stringed instrument that you carry for luck. It just so happens that a member of the court is a music tutor that would be more than eager to give you a few pointers. Within a few short hours, your Warrior knows by heart a simple lullaby that can soothe the soul of any creature. Once per adventure, your Warrior may play on his instrument. If you decide to, all Monsters placed on the board loose the skill Ambush until end of turn (Gamesmaster may make exceptions if he/she feels.)
9 A brilliant and beautiful chemist demonstrates her latest discoveries in the fields of combustion. After telling her of your walk in life, she is overjoyed to give you 3 of her specially treated torches. Your Warrior may light one in any Dungeon at the beginning of any Warriors Phase, the torch burning out D6 turns later (after the Exploration Phase.) While the torch is lit, your Warrior may wander to any board section of the dungeon and may reveal board sections in the Exploration Phase just as if he or she was carrying a lantern. The torch must be held in one hand and does not alter the order of attack.
10 You eloquently weave stories of your exploits, spinning yarns that stretch across the room and make delicate women swoon. You look up for a moment to see a scribe taking down your every word. It turns out the scribe works for one of the few publishers in the kingdom, and is eager to show his supervisor your material. Your Warrior’s stories become mass produced novels, and you (as the author) are not beyond seeing some portion of the earnings. Every time your Warrior enters a Town, City, or Seaport, you may collect 1D8 x 10 gold on account of royalties. On a natural roll of 1, though, your stories have fallen out of favor and that is the last royalty you collect.
11 While your warrior is not actively involved, you listen closely to two biologists debating whether orcs are reproduced sexually or asexually (like fungi.) This does not really interest your Warrior much… until they start defending their claims with the characteristics of juvenile greenskins. Your Warrior overhears enough of the argument to identify any young orc for what he truly is: meat. Any time an Event reveals 5 or more Orcs (including Savage and Black,) determine randomly which of the orcs is a juvenile. The juvenile orc is automatically at –1 Toughness, for its skin is as not nearly well formed as its elders. If your Warrior hears the debate twice, he can identify juvenile Hobgoblins. Hearing the lecture a third time allows you to identify juvenile Goblins, while four or more times is useless.
12 While sitting on a pastel sofa, your Warrior becomes enlightened to the crossly-knit structure of the Universe, the Meaning of Life itself. It quickly fades, but your Warrior feels he has been changed. For one moment, when your Warrior’s brain is between death and life, the Meaning of Life revisits you before darting away forever. If your warrior becomes unconscious (or is reduced to zero by Fatal Damage,) you may regain 1D6 Wounds immediately, and any Spellcaster automatically gains an additional 1D6 Power for casting spells this turn. This skill may only be used once (unless you become Enlightened twice in the Salon!)